Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize