I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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