He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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