I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You don't make any sense
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