"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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