i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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