don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize