Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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