so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
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You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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