I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Panties = found
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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