He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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