Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
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I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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