apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
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looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
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His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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