i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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