M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize