I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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