I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
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im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
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