After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
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We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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