A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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