He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize