yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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