singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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stoners and superglue do NOT mix
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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