she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize