Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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