u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize