Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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