wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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