I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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