Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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