She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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