There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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