Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
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Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
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A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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