So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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