sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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