i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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