I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize