Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
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How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
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You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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