I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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