I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
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Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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