Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize