you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize