If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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