She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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