Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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