i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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