so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
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look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
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Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Someone signed my nipple.
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