There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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