Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize