Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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