Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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